Since our first crazy roundup of advertising agency stereotypes in Cape Town, we’ve had many requests for another post. After some
soul GIF-searching, we have come up with the next ten examples of work wildlife.
1. The Beer-powered Creative
With a liver of cast-iron, the stomach of a hyena, and kidneys from Krypton, this alcoholic workaholic has found themselves trapped. Working makes them want to drink, and drinking makes them poor so they have to work more. Most often found surrounded by job bags, empty beer cans and Jagermeister bottles.
2. The Technophobe Tyrant
This guy believes that once you have reached the top of the corporate ladder, there’s no reason to learn new skills. Computers, iPads, smartphones, WiFi, 3D printing and the Internet confound him, and he’ll shoot down any idea with remotely digital mechanics simply because it scares the sh*t out of him.
3. The Keyboard’s Worst Enemy
Somewhere in every agency there’s a person who madly beats away at his or her keyboard with gay abandon. Even while parking your car in the neighboring lot, you can hear the WHAM-BAM clickety-clack of their desperate pounding as they slam together a document, or whack together a presentation. Probably the only person in the building that has gone through as many keyboards as paperclips.
4. The ‘No’ Girl
Also known as ‘The Suit that Screams’, ‘That Crazy B*tch in Accounts’, and ‘She-who-shall-not-be-named’, this woman despises creatives, she hates innovators, and she cannot stand artsy come-as-you-are creative directors. She’s decided she’ll never personally produce anything creative, so she has made her life goal to box up any ideas that are too out-of-the-box. Admittedly though, this is her job.
5. The Deadline Drama Queen
These people tend to laze around for weeks, while time wastes away. As the deadline looms, they act cool and calm, assuring everyone that everything is under control. The night before final approval, they can be seen stabbing receptionists with pencils, throwing coffee machines down the stairwell, screaming at the photocopier, and blaming everyone for wasting their precious time.
6. The Ultra-hippie Art Director
To find this marketing morsel on the stereotype smorgasbord, follow the scent of garlic lentils, and head toward the tie-died flowerchild at the crystal altar workstation. They’ll explain their theories of love and peace in the marketing world, and explain that ancient aliens are responsible for the last brief. Often found with ‘The Super Smug Designer’ from our first round-up, offer him/her biltong to see a lively explosion of neo-hippie love-hate.
7. The 80s Dream Team
Having spent most of their lives “studying” at the “University of Life”, and gaining “experience” from their “traveling”, these two miscreants managed to blag and blab their way into an agency in the mid 80s. After one or two successful campaigns, they decided to rest on their laurels and do absolutely nothing ever again. Secure in their mid-level positions after selling $45bil worth of edible underwear (effectively making it the next big thing in Latvia and causing a national economic crisis), these two guys will never do any other work, but will re-live their heyday day after day. Watch out for recycled jokes, and stale puns.
8. The Geek Gang
A silent team of keyboard cowboys, devoted to executing whatever crazy digital concepts the other departments come up with. Headphones always blasting 8-bit Punk Rock, desks covered in toys and tech, this team can be found playing Magic the Gathering in the cafeteria during lunch break.
9. The A-type Accounts Asshole
This is the male version of The ‘No’ Girl. He’s always prepared to shoot down your strategy, make a mockery of your marketing documents, berate your briefs, and insult your ideas. If you try to ignore him, you’ll be fired. If you try to impress him, you’ll be fired. If you do anything at all around him, you’ll be fired.
10. The Naïve New Media Know-it-all
Easy to spot with the baggy jeans and backward cap, this guy has just graduated from a college no one has heard of, an attitude no one appreciates, and a skillset no one understands (but we realise we need). Terrified by the agency environment, it will take years for him to adapt to the madness – but that’s not going to stop him from sneering derisively at everything that he didn’t work on.
So that’s our second roundup. If you have anything to add, please comment. We’ll do another roundup in a couple of weeks.